Sometimes, all you need to do is to learn to let go.

Stop holding on to things that will make you feel terrible inside. It's hard to let go, but time can make you do that.. As long as you are willing to do so.

The reason why I care is because my heart aches when I see my friends suffering for such a long period of time and still.. Trapped inside that well of misery. Only God knows the reason why, and I'm not going to ask what exactly happened. All I hope is for them to get out of the pile of stress and pain.

I know I need to change as well. Sometimes I think I am even worse than them, because I'm lazy. I can admit I'm not a super devoted Christian, nor am I a devoted one(actually).. I want to slap myself and wake myself up too. I want to be a Christian that God wants me to be like. However, I know that if I want to do it, I must not be lazy. Yes, I clearly know this is a serious problem and I don't seem to be doing anything to change this stupid fact. Sigh, I know I'm a big problem myself. I should care for myself first then care for others.. But, maybe I'm too bossy or whatsoever, I guess.. I still care. Somehow. I wish I could be of some help. Even though I know I can't. Well, the only thing I can do is to pray.

As for my own problems, I need to be determined to walk out from them myself. It's a major problem when you know that you are not doing well and yet you don't put in effort to change. I know some people are disappointed in me. I'm disappointed in myself too. How foolish am I? Guess it all started when I began to avoid and neglect everything in my life to forget my pain and sorrows. I know I'm using the wrong way, yet I don't care.. I just wanted to lead a carefree life with just happiness. And sure enough, it's not easy. I wanted the easy way out, so I chose to neglect everything in my life, and I neglected God too.
I keep asking myself, "要怎样才能回到当初的爱？"

Maybe... Maybe it's time for a change. Time is not enough, when should I start? I'm not fully ready yet.
Lord, please lead me to the right direction and help my dear friends as well. I'm sorry I've let You down.